In "The Net is the Real World" by Jake Simms and Larry Magid, the authors talk about how two students from Rutgers University were arrested because they exposed a roommate, Tyler Clementi, who was getting intimate with another guy. Tyler's roommate, Dharun Ravi invaded his privacy by putting a web cam in the dorm room and had it live on the Internet where other people saw. When Tyler found out about it he wrote a farewell message on his Facebook and then committed suicide by jumping off the George Washington Bridge into the river. The author also talks about how the Internet encourages bullying and that some people react and handle the situation different from others.
In my opinion, online bullying can be more cruel and it invades a persons privacy because web bully's attract more people when they post what they have done or are doing on the Internet. People are seeing what is happening and it spreads quickly all around the Internet. Nothing is private if it is posted on the Internet because any one can access and view it. Like celebrities for instance, naked pictures always get leaked on the Internet most of the time for money or someone does it for revenge. Not everyone handles situations the same. Some people might not take it serious and just laugh about it while other people can feel very embarrassed and hurt especially if something very private to them is being exposed to the Internet world. Like a student says in the article "I expect ... my privacy to be respected and to be able to do whatever I want. There should be no one there invading my privacy." This is true, every ones privacy should be respected and not exposed to other people, especially on the Internet.Bullying is cruel and causes pain to some one which can make them do what Tyler and other students have done. I have read many articles where a student who got bullied either went on a rage killing the people who were bothering them or killing themselves. What Tyler's roommates did was cruel and it caused a serious outcome because his privacy was invaded which was wrong.
"At least in a school yard brawl, a bully can see his or her victim suffer. Online bullies may never know how much suffering they're inflicting." This quote is from the article and is very true. Although an online bully may not physically be hurting their victim, they are being hurt mentally and emotionally. Some people do it to "look cool" or just make them self feel better so they expose it all around the Internet while some people do it just for humor or fun but they are actually hurting another person. There fore, bullying is wrong but it makes it worse when its on the Internet because many people are watching it, possibly thinking it is funny as well when it really is not.
I like the quotes you use to explain your main point. I also like that you use examples like celebrities with pictures. You are really good at writing specific point and using details to write what the the author is stating. The summary you wrote was good and i like how you use the author's name to state his point to show the separation of the author's opinion to your opinion.
ReplyDeleteYour thesis is good but i think it could have been better. You use too much details but you don't really support your thesis. You get off topic when you use examples and you didnt separate your paragraph. This becomes kind of confusing when the writing is not organized. You could have write more about the quotes you use.
You must write some kind of experience to explain your main point. I dont think you plan out what you were going to write and your writing jumps from topic to topic without explaining your main point. In each paragraph you dont have a topics to keep it organized.
To be honest with you i like the quotes you used from the article.using a quote from the article makes your writing more understandable.you have a main point and that is good.you stated the difference between your opinion and the writters that was excellent.you have a good thesis i recommend you organize your writting to make it easy for the reader to understand.one secret about writting you must always rough draft before final writting.
ReplyDeletei like how you started out with the quote.i like how your summarized the story and your thesis.
ReplyDeleteI recommend that in your opinion, you separate it into two,there or 4 paragraph and u start out with a topic for each one that focus on your thesis.
you must organized your paper,and separate part of the opinion in paragraph.